Still Surviving
I'm returning to my core self and
regaining my youthful perspective on life.
I came to understand that all that it really meant was surviving.
Passion and purpose will just come and go as you live.
You will understand it for what it is,
but once you have internalized its meaning, it also disappears.
These feelings are fleeting.
The reason being is, you are becoming the person you were supposed to be.
xx
ET
Beyond Beauty and Identity
You do not ought to tell them who you are.
What they perceive of you isn't what you see yourself.
You are the one who knows what you believe, beyond the identity they see.
Your layers are based on what you need to protect what is underneath.
Don't be confused or be swayed by voices that do not truly matter.
Your inner voices are your redirection to clear the noises.
Nobody can put words on what's truly inside of you.
You are built beyond beauty. You are you.
xx
ET
Alone and Alive
Let us normalize the fact that we are all born single and that romantic relationships are not required. Let us normalize the fact that being single does not imply loneliness or that there is something wrong with you.
Personally, I was so affected by that pressure before that it seemed like a problem for everyone except me. Because everyone expected it to be a big deal or a societal norm.
But I've accepted it; I'm so focused on bettering myself and getting to know myself, that I don't think about it. I hope people will respect us as much as we respect them, having these different relationships.
Meeting someone who connects to your soul romantically is a bonus in this lifetime. It should not be something you are expected to have.
Everyone else's primary focus should be on taking care of themselves
and becoming their deepest selves. Only you can give yourself that sense of completeness.
xx
ET
Trust Your Transformation
This is a reminder to continue to be gentle with yourself.
But that doesn't mean you have to pretend when you're not feeling well.
It is okay to feel both good and bad emotions.
Positive and negative energies coexist to remind you
of the person you are becoming.
It is also okay to feel as if you are afloat.
These things take time to fully penetrate you,
your understanding, and your being.
And it's completely normal;
it's all part of your transition to your truest self.
xx
ET
Expressing Emotions
Being grounded was one thing that helped me manage my emotions.
To truly see and feel my ground.
To free myself from the roots of my emotions.
It takes time to uncover and make amends with them.
But taking care of myself helps me deal with them.
Accepting them as a part of myself.
As well as expressing my feelings as I should.
I used to bury these emotions until they exploded,
which was an awakening.
I used to feel so unworthy and ashamed that sharing scared me.
Because they will usually question what you are going through.
I've accepted the fact that not everyone will understand.
But that doesn't mean you have to dismiss your emotions.
Nobody else can take that power away from you.
Expressing myself in what I find most comfortable
is extremely beneficial to me.
Writing and the arts have provided me with solace.
So, to each their own, what matters to you may not matter to me.
Your season is not mine; you are who you are, and I am who I am.
xx
ET
I Am Enough
I live day by day.
There's only so much we can do but take things as they come.
One at a time, pause when necessary, and resume when ready.
Focus on the internal rather than the external.
Recognize when things become overwhelming.
To keep reminding myself that I am enough.
And I am more when I express my true self.
To feel worthy and loved even when I don't believe I deserve it.
To remain still because I am here, breathing.
And he's been by my side through it all.
xx
ET
Reborn
As you breathe, you are constantly being reborn.
A never-ending process of reliving, rediscovering, and
reconnecting with your soul.
Endless fall and revival.
Only you can find peace within yourself at your own pace.
You owe it to yourself to find healing and hope every time.
xx
ET
Seeking My Own Truth
The world does not revolve around anyone, as I learned the hard way.
Most of the time, we believe we are at the epicenter
of the turn of events or situation in which we find ourselves.
Because of what we see, hear, or feel.
But, in reality, it preoccupied us with our own issues and insecurities.
I'm not completely numb; I'm just a human being,
but I'm becoming more self-aware.
External noises do not define us.
We are the only ones who have access to our own truth.
We can only share the surface of ourselves,
but that outer layer protects us.
Nobody knows our deepest selves better than ourselves, and
we are still discovering them on our own.
"There is your truth, and there is my truth. As for universal truth, it does not exist."
xx
ET
My Liberation Notes
Liberation entails addressing your self-issues
and releasing your true self.
Issues that run deep in your foundation.
Your ultimate core would be to lay a solid foundation.
Life is bearable as long as you stay true to yourself.
Sticking to yourself and falling in love with yourself
will get you through life.
xx
ET
Detaching
I remember always conveying “keep in touch” to those whom I value.
But then life happens, and the more you learn, the more complicated it becomes.
You realize that everything changes, people come and go, and nothing is certain.
That is extremely difficult for me to accept.
I always try to be open and honest with the people I care about and trust.
So I want to keep that relationship alive.
I find it difficult to let go because of the efforts and time invested.
However, this causes even more heartbreak.
It's just that relationships evolve over time.
And everyone deserves the love they keep giving.
I will always be as vulnerable and transparent as I can be.
But I am learning to set boundaries to protect my core for my own good.
Having a healthy connection is what I need.
It's totally okay to let go of things that don't work for me.
Keeping your distance and being silent means you are protecting your core self.
xx
ET
Slow Down
As the title implies, that's been my life lately. Slowing down to see clearly. At first, silence makes me feel out of place. Because it was so loud before, I cannot hear myself.
So when it's been too quiet for so long, all the unsettled things deep in me resurface. It hit me; I don't know myself too well, not a bit. TI was blinded by the rose-colored glasses I kept putting on to fit in.
I was trying so hard to keep walking on this "normal road" everyone is expected to take on. Then I start blaming myself when things don't work out.
But what's really normal? What's being different? There are no definite answers.
xx
ET
Rekindling My Relationship With Life
Hello! What's up?
It seems like an eternity since I sat down and took the time to write and get to know myself. But I'm working on regaining control of things so that I can support myself. Yes, I'm rekindling my relationship with life as I should.
It's been so long that I've lost track of my train of thought. It knocked me. It's a never-ending loophole that repeats and shuffles itself just when I think I'm over it. Until I fell and hit my head on the ground again.
But I'm trying to breathe again; I've been struggling to do so the entire time. I'm reopening the curtains and rekindling with life in the same way that my inner child's heart sees the rainbow in it.
xx
ET
Panandaliang Saya
Nakalaya kang muli
Tila ika'y lumilipad
Ngunit sasapit ang dilim at ito'y magtatapos
Magiging blangko na naman ang lahat
Tila panandaliang saya lamang
Babagsak kang muli
Liham ni Eba
Dear Young One,
How are you?
Isn’t it been a long time?
But you do not know how much I miss you
I became so engrossed in the world
I’ve forgotten the life we had
Remembering those moments makes me smile
It was fun while it lasted
Things may not turn out as we had hoped
But we've come a long way
Thank you for your presence, then and now
You will always have a special place in my heart
Still you and me until the end
From where we are now,
ET
We have different facets that we show.
We create personas in response to the forces we face.
And we had to make adjustments based on our encounters.
It causes you to doubt and question your identity.
Outside forces will define you in ways
that you do not define yourself.
When your guard is down, you are most vulnerable and genuine.
Only we know what we want and what we consider our identity to be.
And being confused and lost by yourself is unavoidable
because it unfolds.
Katotohanan
Biglang napapahinto at natutulala
Kinukwestyon ang sarili at presensya
Katahimikan ang bumabalot sa kapaligiran
Bakit hindi pa rin matahimik ang isipan
Nalilito at nangangamba
Nadarama ay hindi mailahad
Ano na nga ba ang realidad
Ang hirap na makita
Totoo ba ang lahat
Talaga bang nandirito
Panaginip lang ata ito
Pilit naghahanap ng sagot
Pero malamig na hangin ang gigising
Pahiwatig na siya ay kapiling
Siya ang paalala at patutunguhan
Siya na tanging kasagutan at katotohanan
Liham Ni Eba
Ako ang daan, ang katotohanan,
at ang buhay.
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